first_rhapsody

( Private )

I find it hard to accept this reality.

A reality in which I was bested in combat.

But my shame only fuels my anger.

And my anger fuels my resolve.

Though I am immaterial, shapeless, nothingness,

I can still see.

I can still search.

And I can still share my findings with the world.

I shall continue to search Him out.

And, unfettered by my earthly form,

I will find him.

He cannot hide forever.

I do not care if he sees this post.

I intend for him to read this.

I am coming for you.

If I were a monster, where would I hide?

No.

There is no need to guess.

I need only follow the carnage.

The trail he left behind is clear.

I will have his head on a pike,

His heart in my fist,

And his body on the ground,

For the sport of crows.

I feel...

...

... Unsettled.

A great force or, perhaps,

Merely the promise of force,

Draws me from hiding.

My senses to not deceive me

And my intuition rarely fails.

Destruction is imminent.

Of this, I am certain.

But the nature of this destruction eludes me.

It is from this world, but not from chaos.

It is from outside, but from within.

When I close my eyes, I feel heat,

Burning,

Crushing,

Inferno.

I do not understand.

I cannot solve this riddle.

So take up my sword, I shall,

And ready myself for battle, if a battle is coming.

I suggest that others do the same.

It is as if fate itself mocks me.

Ill content to leave me alone in my shame,

The world again seeks to torment me further.

Still am I unprepared to face my greatest enemy.

Still am I unready to become the world's true hero.

And yet it seems the gods demand action.

Pulling me from my secluded cave,

Some unknown force has seen it fit

To cast me instead into the scarred crater

From which He worked His malice.

My senses tell me there shall be no battle here today.

And for that, I am grateful.

"But maybe," the optimist within me implores,

"Maybe this is a sign, a part of the larger plan.

Perhaps the time for remorse, self-pity,

Reflection, and seclusion is over.

Perhaps, as the phoenix rises from ashes,

So shall I rise from failure to become anew."

Or perhaps there is no fate.

No gods, no plans, no guiding light.

This could be no more than a random act

Committed blindly by an ignorant, uncaring universe.

I know now how little I know.

And how deep, as this crater, my shortcomings fall.

But I know this:

Whether by fate's hand or by my own,

Justice shall be meted out

And the true hero shall emerge.

Soon.

And here I was, almost concerned.

With Loveless' personnel shift

I had wondered about our effectiveness.

Now I see there is no reason to doubt:

The other teams are busy crippling themselves.

Selphie is forming a team of her own

Composed of friends and allies.

Her sentimentality clouds her judgment.

Her team shall amount to nothing more

Than a tally in our win column.

And Jecht, in his infinite arrogance

Has traded a valuable team member for a song,

Perhaps believing that he can carry the team on his own.

Ha! It is little wonder Loveless is so dominant

When the competition is so foolish.

Yes, yes, first place, ra ra ra.

Sing the victory song and all that.

But it was a sloppy win.

It should never have come to a final tiebreaker.

We should have been done and victorious

At the end of the season,

No extra games necessary.

So while I applaud our victory,

I see room for improvement.

Sabin's muscle goes unused, and Selphie.....

She seems to be taking a back seat

To our more illustrious forward.

I think changes are necessary,

To bring out the full potential of Loveless.

Expect news of change

Before the next Blitz event.

Before the accusations begin,

Let it be known that Blank's team

Is poorly represented by their point standing.

Close inspection of their games

Reveals that they have played competently throughout,

Keeping games within one or two goals

Even against the best teams.

So far from it to say Goliath was felled by David.

This game was more of a match than anyone anticipated.

But we shall not make the same mistake twice.

Preparations have been made, plans are drawn.

Loveless shall finish number one.

Undefeated.

I like the way that rolls off the tongue.

To be fair, we tied once,

But "perfect save for a tie" is less noble and more cumbersome.

Victory has gone to all of our heads,

And I feel a growing addiction to the sport.

So much so, I believe I may bet on chocobos,

For the sake of blitz experience.

But I shall spare you all from my boasting.

Well, perhaps a little more boasting.

I have recently been employed at the local temp agency

Indecisive as I was about where to seek employment,

The opportunity to sample all jobs was enticing.

I look forward to working there.

Victory is always heartening

But there is no honor in defeating a poor team.

No strength comes from conquering the weak.

To prove ourselves, we must smite giants.

No lesser victory will suffice.

So we are enthused, but not ecstatic.

This early victory gives us hope and confidence,

But I warn my team to take it in context.

We will examine our errors, correct our mistakes,

And return ever stronger.